Fine. I'll sleep in my office
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
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He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
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I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.