Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize