Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Drunk is a universal language darling
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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