how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
