did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize