do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize