Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Terrible idea I love it
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions