Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
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she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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