I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize