Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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