so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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