last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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