you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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