Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
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I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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