I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
