I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
