he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Can't talk, ducks in the car
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
