Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
It's not a walk of shame if you run
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
