I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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