I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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