i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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