do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize