Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I need water and some morals
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
