That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole