How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.