i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
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He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
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She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch