I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize