I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
When did angry sex become our thing?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
