Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
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I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
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What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air