We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
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you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
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I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.