he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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