So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
