Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize