your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize