tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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