Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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