Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies don't puke and tell
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize