i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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