I CAN MOONWALK!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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