Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
