Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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