Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
