I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.