Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.