margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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