one word: firstdatebathroomanal
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
