I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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