My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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