Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
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First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
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She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!