you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.