I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
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High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
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His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night