Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.