A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I am spending my child support on dildos
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.