Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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