would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
