Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize