Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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