I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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